if i only had a holy sword you'd be dead

i'm so angry i could spit. it's raining hard outside. i waited fucking 30 min (in my jetstream) to get a cab. no luck. go back to the hotel to get them to call me a cab, and they're like, okie dokes (fuckers), they stand outside with the same fucking results. CALL me a fucking cab. and finally, i'm like, ok, look, i need to get to exchange square. i'm late for work. what's the fastest way. and the very polite yet wholly unhelpful dude tells me to take the hotel shuttle, which begins at 9 am. look asshole, i know there are buses that go from the hotel to central. i know they exist. i'm clapping so fucking hard screaming I BELIEVE IN BUSES. they insist that the hotel shuttle is the fastest, MOST CONVENIENT way to get to exchange square. alright. maybe i don't know everything about hong kong yet. i'll take the fucking shuttle. the fucking shuttle leaves at 9:05 (and on an unrelated but annoying nonetheless note, the reversing beep on the shuttle is not only offkey, but it can't hold a note! how hard is it to make a van that beeps in the same key when it backs up instead of wavering unsteadily between two equally unsavory tones like a half inflated accordian?).

the fucking shuttle moves more slowly than a city tram (another option i could've taken to exchange square). the tram system, btw, was probably built in the fucking middle ages and is described in guidebooks as a good way to "get to know the city" and "people watch" but not a good way to get anywhere in any amount of time. and then the fucking shuttle has the audacity to drop me off 3 blocks away from exchange square, but right in front of a subway station that's connected underground to exchange square. alright, not so bad...i can walk underground to my office...except i can't...because i need to buy a ticket to get in, and i can't get out with a ticket for another station...and they don't sell tickets for the same station (obviously). by now, i'm cursing like a crazy person, but i still hafta fight my way through the throng of SHORT ASIAN WOMEN and their UNWIELDY UMBRELLAS! everyone hugs their umbrella like they'll wash away without it, meaning they can't see where they're going. and the umbrellas are right at face level. i batted my way through them and almost punched every fucking single one i saw. fuckers. well, this was therapeutic. i miss america where everyone is tall enough to not almost blind me everytime it rains.