feeling cheated

i'm the type of girl who likes to get emotional. i'm not particularly picky about what kind of emotion, as long as i get a pang of something. even when i get angriest or saddest, there's a detached part of me relishing the feeling from afar. after all, it means i'm not dead yet.

call me sentimental, melodramatic, exhibitionist, whatever. it's all true (which is probably why i can't get thru a non-fiction book to save my life--not enough emotion). maybe it's due to the fear of boredom characteristic of so many gen y'ers (b/c we're the generation that hasn't suffered, so we need something to fill the space created by the freedom*).**

Phew, ok. all this is to say that i'm not feeling much emotion at all in this goodbye to hk, even tho it's a huge life change. i don't want to go out blubbering, but it'd be nice to have the appropriate solemnity to gain at least a bit of closure. instead, i'm skipping out like i'm going on an extended vacation (which i am, yay new zealand), and my brain has totally missed the fact that i will not see a lot of these ppl ever again (thank god! JUST KIDDING. you see what i mean? still cracking jokes at the 11th hour).

but then again, maybe this is just another effect of globalization and the internet. or maybe this is uli's fault. he's the guy who has permanently left hk for about 6m now, and i still run into him every week or so b/c he's popped into town for some random errand (which, incidentally, is more often than i saw him before he left). thanks for robbing me of my cathartic goodbyes, uli. OR, maybe it's b/c hk is one of those cities that you never really leave. like neverland. it keeps a bit of your young adult self, and in return, it leaves something under your skin (pollution mainly). ok, now i've hit the sap. peace out brothas.

*maslow's hierarchy? also, can we claim that our formative unifying experience is terrorism? i think not. altho seeing those towers crumble on tv scooped out my insides with a spoon, the emotion was mainly voyeuristic and ephemeral. the only lasting change in MY life pre and post 9/11 is more inconvenient airport procedures (and of course, whatever damage 8 yrs of republican party schutzstaffel politics caused). no lasting fear and no lasting hunger = no formative experience. actually, given the constant bombardment of the sensationalist media, none of the classic boogeymen are capable of scaring me anymore; my crippling fear is of being left to deal with the paperwork when the dust settles. i am doomed to be worn down by the minutia. actually, is it a contradiction to be afraid of boredom? if you are afraid, then you are not bored, right?

**we are also the generation that rambles***

***and also the generation that likes to make broad generalizations based on limited personal experience****

****and b/c jon is technically a gen x'er, he is perfectly content to sit in front of a computer all day and be grungy while i'm pulling my hair out in a bout of ADD.


every time i tell someone i'm moving to the uk...

they give me advice on where to live. what's with that? i have no idea about london geography, so when they spout off about this area next to that tube stop, it's in one ear and out the other with some polite nodding in between.


time flies

yikes! a month without posting and a week to go. august flew by in a blur. every weekend featured at least 1 beach ulty session, maybe a wakeboarding session, and the occasional junk.

the best junk was the private one that kristin invited us on (LOOK AT ME! CHILLIN' WITH THE HIGHROLLERS!), with the devoted speedboat and the donuts of death. these things seriously FLEW thru the air and bumped your backside something furious. luckily, i only fell off once, and since i was lying on my stomach, the fall was just a couple of barrelrolls before landing on my side. jon wasn't so lucky...i think he may have done some flips before landing on his head...and grant managed to barrelroll thru the rope, picking up some impressive burns on his arm. huge adrenaline rush tho. probably one of the most exciting things i've ever done to date (soon to be changed by new zealand (!!!!) ).

and then of course, there were the olympics. the tv at work is right over my shoulder, so i spent a good portion of the days watching tennis, swimming, track, and volleyball. absolutely gleeful when the US relay team beat the frenchies--a lot of our traders are french. my mother is in love with michael phelps--my dad is jealous. she keeps asking if "our jon" could train to be a swimmer. i told her that he hasn't got the pain tolerance, and she agreed that he is a bit of a softie (awww). i'm very glad the US basketball team pulled it out. USA! USA!

TWO DAYS OFF B/C of TYPHOONS! that's 3 to hit this summer! ppl always die on typhoon days b/c they see a lull in the storm and think, oh, that's a good chance for a swim or a surf. idiots. no sympathy.

what else? mmm...went to singapore last weekend. my first foray into what a colleague calls "the real life version of disneyland". i quite enjoyed it, and now i wish i had taken a non-frisbee weekend there. we stayed in little india, in a "hotel" where the shower was right above the toilet and jon could stretch from wall to wall. the fields were a 10 min walk away, and the best part is that there's a fresh food market right next to the fields. so every day for lunch, we had our fill of prata and biryani. not the best for playing on, but meh, it's our last asian tourney so we can do as we please. for dinner, we went to the food stalls in china town. i love laksa. kristin found some yummy crispy wantons, and we washed it down with root beer floats and soursop ices. also, i found that i don't like cactus juice.

and for our last weekend here, we're shopping for hiking boots and playing the beach hat tournament. i will definitely miss this place.