6.14.2007

my chiropractor wants my soul

i've been going to a chiropractor for the past 3 months. it's expensive, but covered by insurance. now that my plan is about to end, the good doc is making a bid for the full year plan:

ch: "you know who goes to the chiro? ac milan. the entire team goes to the chiro regularly. are you familiar with football?"
me: "i play frisbee...?"
ch: "but you've heard of ac milan right?"
me: "sure, but it was from your partner who made the same pitch yesterday."
ch: "you know who else? arnold schwarzeneggar. he's been going to the chiro since the 1960s! how do you think he got to where he is today?"
me: "you mean, governor?"
ch: "yes, the governor...yadda yadda."


and so it goes. if i sign on for the rest of the year, i'll be paying for it myself. here is another oft repeated conversation:

ch: "within the next year, you'll feel your symptoms disappearing."
me: "but i don't have any symptoms."
ch: "how do you know? maybe we're curing symptoms that you would've had had you not come here."

hmmm...here are the before and after xrays of my spine. the green line is where the "optimal spine" is. the red line is my spine. basically, my neck used to be tilted slightly forwards. now, i'm all akilter. i feel like i have to sign on for the full program to get them to straighten me out again. bah.

4 comments:

Paul said...

"For example, you haven't been attacked by a shark since you've started going to the chiropractor!"

I went to a chiropractor for about 4 months. The free massage was the best. They zapped my spine, and found out what I already basically knew: my hips are uneven. Anyway, I stopped going because I think chiropractors are really witch doctors. I'm not convinced they know what the hell they're doing, or if it even helps. Get some dope insoles though, they can help even things out.

lily said...

well, i would get the insoles, but my legs are pretty even. i just have a kink in my neck. you're right about the witch doctor-y though. they keep talking about wellness and alignment. i wouldn't be surprised if they started pulling out crystals.

Lori said...

I went to a chiro 4 times junior year. 3/4 times it did good things. 1/4 times he just hurt me more. Overall, I think the 3/4 helped in that it made it easier to walk the next morning, but I think yoga would have done the same thing.

Melissa said...

hmm...maybe i should go see one. i'm uneven in all sorts of ways.