8.29.2006

crazy natives

i was a good girl last night and went to bed as soon as i got home, because i'm starting to babble at work, and social interactions are turning funny (for example, a girl actually apologized to me because i gave her a funny look when she said she didn't want to order dinner with me--like she came up to me afterwards and said, "look, i'm sorry for being so abrupt, i didn't mean to be a bitch...")...on another unrelated note, i had to tell someone about the sexuality of orchids. some french guy sent her purple orchids, and apparently purple stands for sexual frustration and orchids stand for testicles.

ok, so around midnight, someone crazy starts pounding on my door and rattling my doorknob...and i'm like, who the fuck? my first thought is that housekeeping's been sipping on the scissors. accordingly, i yell at them to GO AWAY! and the fucker yells, it's police! and i'm like WHAT THE FUCK?! and the whole time, she's yelling and rattling my doorknob. i'm like in a fucking four star hotel! so then i get dressed and open the door. it's some fucking chinese person who's got the wrong room. i was so mad i almost chased her into the hallway. i'm so much bigger than her i could definitely kick her ass. all i could think about was my good intentions at sleeping ruined. i'm feeling much more rational about it this morning, however, because i did manage to get back to sleep, and now i'm distinctly proud of myself. hurrah for me!

3 comments:

Erika said...

At least you have a doorknob. Mine was working fine, but someone took it out and put it on the floor during work week. Now I can't close my door or it will never open.

Lori said...

dude you should have beat her ass. m.f. makin you sleep less.. that deserves a beatin.

my cat is the same way. he jumps on our bed at 4am and he's like, "yo, I'm the police!" which means he bites me. And then I get all up in his face, but I'm waaaaaaay too tired to ACTUALLY get all up in his face and do anything about it, so I roll over and go back to sleep, but in a state of fear, because he rarely attacks just once.

lily said...

lori you rock. i say this often, and i mean it every time.