a comedy of errors

i committed to buying a $3000 HKD flat screen tv. Before I have any furniture or gas. Before I've successfully done my first load of laundry. I don't even know where my apartment is, really. god my priorities are fucked up. in my defense, i need to set up my internet and my tv simultaneously...so if i don't get a tv, i don't use my computer. does that make this any better? in my head, yes.

i couldn't spell the word 'definitely' until i typed it.


i found this shriekingly funny. it reminded me of the mary tyler moore episode in which she attends the funeral of a clown who died via shelling. a parade elephant stepped on him because he was dressed in a peanut suit. mary, bless her soul, couldn't stop laughing at the funeral. she got lots of dirty looks from mr. grant. i love mary tyler moore. thinking of her theme song always puts a smile on my face. i hate that she played the wife of dick van dyke. his show was nothing. NOTHING. but he plays a good chimney sweep (cheroo).

how does a fully alive human being get swallowed? surely his arms and legs and hands and feet and love of life can overcome the peristalsis of even the fearsome hippopotamus? and once he's inside, he doesn't die instantaneously, does he? can't they cut him out? maybe the hippo was worth more. maybe he conspired to be swallowed. what a death. peter pan once said, "to die would be an awfully big adventure." i hope the hippo's alright. they're vegetarians right? maybe they'll shoot the hippo and bury him in the midget's grave.