11.21.2006

Tagging Along

Amber tagged me to write five things most people don't know about me, which will be hard because i'm not a very private person, but here goes.

1. when i was a kid, i used to think there were people watching me from secret drainpipes to evaluate my social acceptability. as such, i didn't do things like pick my nose even when there was no one around. yeah, i was a paranoid child.

2. if i eat a lot around you, it means i like you (or i'm bored and you happen to be around). hmmm...take the contrapositive. if i don't like you, i won't eat around you. yeah, that's definitely more true. something in me doesn't like breaking bread with enemies, and there's nothing like annoyance to take away my appetite--perhaps a remnant from my high school days when i was perpetually annoyed at my dad, mostly for trying to shove food down my throat (i'm an ungrateful cur, i know).

3. the only sin i believe in is needlessly (or spitefully) inflicting pain (which doesn't include punishment or even necessarily revenge). i can't not hurt others, but when i do, i should be aware of it, and it should be done towards achievement of some goal...use a scalpel not a hand grenade? i dunno, articulation is hard and i'm lazy. maybe this is the red headed stepchild of utilitarianism: ceteris paribus, choose the way that hurts less/fewer. no, that's not really it. if you must hurt someone, know why you're hurting them so that his pain at least trades for something (a handful of beads for your tears, mister)--even if that something is your own peace of mind. where there are causes and effects (eg revenge), reason plays at least some role. there is at least a weighing and a deciding, and then it's just a matter of what scale you're using (and who's to say what scale is right?). what's really wrong is wanton lashing out--spitting barbs to get the metal from your mouth and not caring who gets hit. hmm...actually, i just thought of another sin: confusing people on purpose. the world is complicated enough without spin. as such, i think the american patent system kinda sucks (try reading a patent, you'll see), and that people who twist words to hide holes are jerks.

4. imo, my biggest fault is laziness/sloppiness. i used to have nightmares where my downfall was invariably caused by some oversight of mine (for example, leaving the holy book in the cave so that water dripped on it, rendering my incantations worthless and allowing the witches to subdue the rebellion i was leading). it's my tragic flaw, and i'm sure it'll lead to my undoing. on a related note, i'm terrified of erosion...these little forces that eat away at all the things we've done (oh yes, we're in this together), that say nothing is ever finished, you'll always need to come back to it, to maintain it. entropy, bite my ass. once i do something/buy something i want it to keep doing/working until one day it goes from running perfectly to running not at all. none of this chipped paint shit. it's the mundane that will get me in the end--i just can't remember all the maintenance it takes to keep life going. i can plan the fucking witch rebellion, but i can't remember to put up the holy book, and if it's not the holy book, trust you me, it'll be some other little thing. running errands is the toughest thing in the world for me. i want my mommy (and a cookie).

5. i like to write long paragraphs about how mental i am...oh, you knew that? well, would you like a mommy and a cookie?

liver
laura
atong
erikas
darlene...tag, you're it.

5 comments:

Yelena said...

a lot of this post just doesn't make sense:). Hope you had fun at worlds! OOO.. I got to spend the weekend with Laura, so hope you are jealous.

lily said...

you did that nancy thing where you say something mean and add a smiley face to make it better. i don't buy it. i spent last week with paul and schwu.

Yelena said...

Really? "A lot of this post just doesn't make sense" is mean? I didn't think so, I added a smiley face because I was smiling as I was typing it, I definitely didn't intend it as mean. And when I read your comment, I thought I put a smiley face after my Laura sentence, but then I looked and there was no smiley face, so I was confused for a while and then saw it after the first one, definitely not mean sentence.

lily said...

ok, so by mean, i meant "not nice" and not necessarily malicious or anything. you know how nancy has her way of saying something blunt or unexpected or mean, and then she puts a smiley face behind it to make it better?

Yelena said...

I guess being compared to nancy is never a bad thing, I don't know why I got so defensive. But yes, I know what you mean.