inputs and output-put-puts

starbucks you motherfucking corporate liar. my decaf soy no-whip iced gingerbread latte not only had whip, it had caf! don't try to tell me otherwise, i can smell it in my pee. i understand your employees are harassed by your free coffee hour; i understand there were lines going from here to somewhere farther than china, but i've seen ben and jerry free cone days and i know it can be done. your employee called out my drink order perfectly and handed me a cup with a dollop of whipped cream. she even called out my order twice because i blinked at her the first time. then i laughed and took it because it's free and they're doing their best and i'm the yuppy scum who asked for a million modifications to a free drink. but caffeine?! now i'm wired like a chihuahua on crack, which means i'll probably drink a lot, and if i make an ass of myself at the company christmas party, it will be on your head! moreover, if i find out you screwed up the last of my modifications, i'll...i'll...well, i'll be uncomfortable, and nothing bad will happen to you. and yes, this is me whinging about a free drink. i'm just trying to fit into my corporate role better. sue me. no wait, can i sue you?